Couples Issues

Couples, Sexual Intimacy, Marriage and Family Counseling

With 30 years of experience, my specialties are sexuality, infidelity, (including pornography use) couples conflict and food problem are my specialties.Trained extensively in many effective approaches with the best clinicians from various countries throughout the world; I have advanced certification working with problematic sexual behaviors, conflict resolution, addiction and food problems.

If you are undecided about your marriage I will work with each of you to make a sound decision concerning your marriage and the best course of action for you both. I believe that all couples can find renewed passion and learn to live peacefully together. We can learn to love again even if we feel that love is presently non-existent between us. It is never too late to heal a relationship and resolve past wounds that have occurred within an intimate relationship. Intimate relationships bring deeper meaning into our lives, the conflict within them is there to help us grow and transform us into positive more selfless people. This is why I feel all relationships hit a difficult impasse at some point in time. If this is your time, it is your opportunity to grow and become a more caring, confident and empowered individual.


A Unique Approach to Couples Counseling

We believe every couple is unique, and there is no one certain way to solving problems, or one specific type of therapy. Based on all our previous work with other couples, our formal training, and our ongoing discovery process, we will use what we think is the best approach for you. Our work with couples is based partially on the philosophical approaches of the many authors included in the bibliography below. We do not become too focused on any one style of therapy, as it limits the work we can effectively do with couples. We are flexible in our counseling style and work to stay continuously aware of all of the new approaches in the field of couples counseling. We are all individuals and therefore some methods of therapy are more suitable to some people and other methods may be totally ineffective. From these approaches, we have developed our own independent style of therapy that is unlike any other. We will use Family Systems, Imago, Relational, Solution Focused, as well as Emotional Attachment forms of therapy such as Breathwork Therapy. Our philosophy of treatment is the same whether you are a pre-marital, marital or cohabiting couple. We believe couples come in many forms and the same type of therapies useful in helping couples in intimate committed relationships can also create closer bonds and more peaceful relating between teens and parents, adult children, and older parents, friends and business associates.


Bibliography

Crenshaw, Theresa L., M.D., The Alchemy of Love and Lust:  How Our Sex Hormones Influence Our Relationships, Pocket Books, Simon & Schuster, Inc., New York, New York, 1996.

Davis, Laura, Allies in Healing:  When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child, HarperPerennial, HarperCollins Publishers, New York, New York, 1991.

Deida, David, Enlightened Sex:  Finding Freedom & Fullness Through Sexual Union, (audio course), Sounds True, Boulder, Colorado, 2004.

Deida, David, The Enlightened Sex Manual:  Sexual Skills for the Superior Lover, (CD), Sounds True, Boulder, Colorado, 2005. (Available in print.)

Deida, David, Wild Nights, Sounds True, Boulder, Colorado, 2005.

Deida, David, and Ken Wilber, Finding God Through Sex:  Awakening the One of Spirit Through the Two of Flesh, Sounds True, Boulder Colorado, 2005.

Doherty, William J., PhD., Take Back Your Marriage:  Sticking Together in a World that Pulls Us Apart, The Guilford Press, New York, New York, 2003.

Estes, Clarissa Pinkola, Ph.D., How to Love a Woman:  On Intimacy and the Erotic Life of Women, Sounds True, Boulder, Colorado. (Available on CD.)

Fisher, Helen, Ph.D., Anatomy of Love:  A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray, Ballantine Books, Random House, Inc., New York, New York, 1992.

Fisher, Helen, Ph.D., Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love, Henry Holt and Company, LLC, New York, New York, 2004.

Gottman, John M., Ph.D., and Joan DeClaire, The Relationship Cure (audio), Random House, Inc., New York, New York, 2001.  (Available in print.)

Gottman, John M., Ph.D., and Nan Silver, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work:  A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, Three Rivers Press, Crown Publishing Group, Random House, Inc., New York, New York, 1999.

Gottman, John, Ph.D., with Nan Silver, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail…and How You Can Make Yours Last, Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, Simon & Schuster, Inc., New York, New York, 1994

Gottman, John M., Ph.D., Julie Schwartz Gottman, Ph.D., and Joan DeClaire, 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage (audio), Random House, Inc., New York, New York, 2006. (Available in audio.)

Gray, John, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus:  The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex, Harper Paperbacks, HarperCollins Publishers, New York, New York, 2004.

Grayson, Henry, The New Physics of Love:  The Power of Mind & Spirit in Relationships (audio course), Sounds True, Boulder, Colorado, 2000.

Haltzman, M.D., with Theresa Foy Digeronimo, The Secrets of Happily Married Men:  Eight Ways to Win Your Wife’s Heart Forever, Jossey-Bass, A Wiley Imprint, San Francisco, California, 2006.

Hendrix, Harville, Ph.D., Getting the Love You Want:  A Guide for Couples, Henry Holt and Company/Owl Books, Inc., Harper & Row, Publishers, Inc., 1990. (Audio available.)

Hendricks, Kathlyn, Ph.D., and Gay Hendricks, Ph.D., The Conscious Heart:  Seven Soul-Choices That Inspire Creative Partnership, Bantam Books, Random House, Inc., New York, New York, 1999.

Johnson, Susan, M., Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy with Trauma Survivors:  Strengthening Attachment Bonds, (Guilford Family Therapy Series), The Guilford Press, New York, New York, 2005.

Kasl, Charlotte, Ph.D., If the Buddha Married:  Creating Enduring Relationships on a Spiritual Path, Penguin Group, Penguin Putnam, Inc., New York, New York, 2001. 

Keyes, Ken, Jr., A Conscious Person’s Guide to Relationships, Living Love Publications, Coos Bay, Oregon, 1979.

Kingma, Daphne Rose, The Many Faces of Love:  Exploring New Forms of Intimacy (audio), Sounds True, Boulder, Colorado, 2002.

Lee, John Alan, The Colors of Love, Prentice-Hall, Inc., Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey, 1976.

Lerner, Harriet, Ph.D., The Dance of Anger:  A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships, Harper Paperbacks, HarperCollins Publishers, New York, New York, 2005. (Audio available.)

Lerner, Harriet, Ph.D., The Dance of Connection:  How to Talk to Someone When You’re Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate, Harper Paperbacks, HarperCollins Publishers, New York, New York, 2002. (Audio available.)

Lerner, Harriet, Ph.D., The Dance of Intimacy, Harper Paperbacks, HarperCollins Publishers, New York, New York, 1990. (Audio available)

Lerner, Harriet, Ph.D., On Intimacy:  How to Create a Remarkable Relationship, Sounds True, Boulder, Colorado, 1995.

Levine, Stephen, and Ondrea Levine, Embracing the Beloved:  Relationship as a Path of Awakening, Anchor Books, Random House, Inc., New York, New York, 1995.

Love, Patricia, Ed.D., Hot Monogamy:  Essential Steps to More Passionate, Intimate Lovemaking, (audio seminar), Sounds True Audio, Boulder Colorado, 1994.

Love, Patricia, Ed.D., and Steven Stosny, Ph.D., How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It:  Finding Love Beyond Words, Broadway Books, The Broadway Doubleday Publishing Group, Random House, Inc., New York, New York, 2007.

Luhrs, Janet, Simple Loving:  A Path to Deeper, More Sustainable Relationships, the Penguin Group, Penguin Putnam, Inc., New York, New York, 2000.

Mackey, Richard A., Bernard A. O’Brien, and Eileen F. Mackey, Gay and Lesbian Couples:  Voices from Lasting Relationships, Praeger Publishers, Westport, Connecticut, 1997.

Mellody, Pia, with Andrea Wells Miller and J. Keith Miller, Facing Love Addiction:  Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love, Harper San Francisco, HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., New York, New York, 1992.

Mellody, Pia, and Lawrence S. Freundlich, The Intimacy Factor:  The Ground Rules for Overcoming the Obstacles to Truth, Respect, and Lasting Love, HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., New York, New York, 2003.

Moore, Thomas, Ph.D., The Soul of Sex:  A Guide to Cultivating Life as an Act of Love, HarperCollins Publishers, New York, New York, 1998.

Peele, Stanton, with Archie Brodsky, Love and Addiction, The New American Library, New York, New York, 1975.

Raffel, Lee, M.S.W., Should I Stay or Go?:  How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage, Contemporary Books, Lincolnwood, Illinois, 1998.

Ray, Sondra, Loving Relationships:  The Secrets of a Great Relationship, Celestial Arts, Berkeley, California, 1980.

Real, Terrence, How Can I Get Through to You? (Reconnecting Men and Women) (audio), Simon & Schuster Audio, New York, New York 2006.  (Available in print.)

Real, Terrence, The New Rules of Marriage, A Breakthrough Program for 21st-Century Relationship: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work (audio), Random House Audio Publishing Group, New York, New York, 2007.

Rosenberg, Marshall, NonViolent Communication:  Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony With Your Values (CD), Sounds True, Boulder, Colorado, 2004.

Schnarch, David, Ph.D., Resurrecting Sex:  Resolving Sexual Problems and Rejuvenating Your Relationship, HarperCollins Publishers, New York, New York, 2002.

Schnarch, David, Ph.D., Secrets of a Passionate Marriage:  How to Increase Sexual Pleasure and Emotional Fulfillment in Committed Relationships (CD), Marriage & Family Health Center, Evergreen, Colorado, 2003.

Schnarch, David, Ph.D., The Sexual Crucible:  Paradigm-Shift in Sexual & Marital Therapy (audio), Marriage & Family Health Center, Evergreen, Colorado, 1991.

Smith, Robin L., Dr., Lies at the Altar:  The Truth About Great Marriages, Hyperion, New York, New York, 2006. (Available on CD.)

Spring, Janis Abrahms, Ph.D., and Michael Spring, After the Affair:  Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, HarperCollins Publishers, New York, New York 1996.

Weiner-Davis, Michele, Divorce Busting:  Solution-Oriented Brief Therapy with Couples (2-day audio seminar), Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp., Woodstock, Illinois, 1996.

Weiner-Davis, Michele, The Sex-Starved Marriage:  A Couple’s Guide to Boosting Their Marriage Libido, Simon & Schuster, New York, New York, 2003.

Vissell, Barry, M.D., and Joyce Vissell, R.N., M.S., The Shared Heart:  Relationship Initiations & Celebrations, Ramira Publishing, Aptos, California, 1984.

Welwood, John, Ph.D., Journey of the Heart:  Path of Conscious Love, Harper Paperbacks, HarperCollins Publishers, New York, New York, 1990.

Welwood, John, Ph.D., Sacred Fire:  The Path of Conscious Relationships (audio), Sounds True, Boulder, Colorado, 1996.

Williamson, Marianne, Enchanted Love:  The Mystical Power of Intimate Relationships, Simon & Schuster, New York, New York, 2001.